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How to Drive Women Crazy


1. Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.


2. Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject.

3. Superglue the commode seat in the up position.

4. Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.

5. Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when your original destination was California.

6. Call her by your mother's name and then deny it.

7. Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.

8. Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day.

9. Never give her a straight answer.

10. Take up yodelling and practice a lot.

11. Quote Tim Allen to validate your position during arguments. (Argh! Argh! Argh!)

12. Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.

13. Pretend you forgot how to speak English.

14. Answer every question with "Yes, dear."

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3 comments:

Ambient Guy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ambient Guy said...

brilliant! made me laugh! thank you. I shall think of this all night and perhaps come up with some more :O)

my own troubled thoughts on my midlife crisis and relationships are written here

Adelaine said...

Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Very useful info specially the last part :) I care for such info much. I was seeking this certain information for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

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